An Instant in Time
by Draygon Fire
Summary: Dreams have troubled R'sheal for as long as she can remember. Dreams of pain and sorrow. Dreams of a soulmate who killed her...and now he wants her back
1. Prologue

An Instant  
  
Vengeance can destroy you...it can consume you whole, swallowing you up until there is no room for thought or reason.  
  
Oh yes, you are incapable of seeing reason.  
  
It's an inferno of rage, hate and despair. A potent combination, pushing, compelling no DEMANDING you to quench its insatiable thirst. A terrible, fierce passion that races through your blood, burning through your veins, consuming your thoughts until you can no longer sleep at night.  
  
Until peace is just a distant memory lost forever down the path of time.  
  
It's stronger than any spell, any duty, obligation or vision. All you can hope is that maybe there will be some peace when that never ending fire is finally sated.  
  
Oh, it can destroy you. Destroy you as it destroyed me.  
  
Vengeance is a double edged blade. It gives just as much as it takes. And it's only in the end that you see the destruction it leaves in its wake. What it takes can never /ever/ be replaced no matter how much you try or how hard you pray. For there is no justice where vengeance is concerned.  
  
And the fire that seemed to fill your life only moments ago leaves you empty and cold, killing you slowly as the months and years roll relentlessly by.  
  
My painful, passionate cry of despair is born from the single fact that vengeance was the force that caused me to kill the one person who could have meant the world to me. Who could have filled that dark space in my heart and destroy the demons that have plagued me throughout the years. And fill those memories that can make strong men weep, replacing them with their joy, laughter and love.  
  
But I killed her. My salvation, my hope, my soulmate.  
  
It wasn't her that vengeance whispered sinuously in my ears that I should, that I /must/ destroy. It was her father. The man who had slain my sister because she is what she is and we are what we are.  
  
Nightworlders. Lamia. Vampires.  
  
I had failed her. Failed my little sister. I should have been able to keep her safe, protect her, teach her, guide her and look out for her. Isn't that what brothers do? Yet, I had watched her die as some vampire hunter staked her unsuspectingly through the heart as she walked home from school. The memory of his face hath ever been engraved and burned into my mind.  
  
Vengeance demanded that he should pay. But the price was just too high.  
  
Who would have thought that the man I hated more then life itself should have a daughter that was the One. The only one. That his daughter should love them man I hated so much that she threw herself in front of him just as I pulled the trigger of the crossbow aimed directly for his heart.  
  
I didn't know her. Didn't know what she could have meant to me. But as those delicate pale hands closed around the bolt that pierced her flawless skin and those beautiful blue-gray eyes met mine with shock, pain and surprise...  
  
I knew.  
  
I knew, for those eyes seemed to unlock the doors to my very soul, to my mind and to my heart. And in that instant I saw a future that could have been mine.  
  
And it killed me inside.  
  
When I rushed to her side, my mind screaming /what have you done?/ I put my arms around her and felt her blood, her life ebbing from the wound that /I had/ caused and saw the pain in her eyes that /I had/ put there.  
  
To watch those beautiful blue-gray eyes close and know that I will never again have the chance to look into them. Knowing that I could have had a lifetime to explore those shades of blue and gray. To see them light up with happiness or glow with joy. And those pale, pink lips that I would never, ever kiss...  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry that I never had the opportunity to know you.  
  
And you haunt me. You haunt my days, my nights and my dreams.  
  
I dream of what we could have had. My soulmate. I dream of you and it torments me so. I lost my sister, tried to avenge her and only ended up losing you too.  
  
To find what you have been looking for your whole life and to have it snatched away in an instant, knowing that you were the one who destroyed this fragile, precious dream is something I'll have to live with in agony for the rest of my long, endless life. The curse of a vampire.  
  
I'm sorry I never knew your favourite colour, your favourite movie or your favourite song. I'm sorry I never knew your name.  
  
I wish I could make things right. But I don't know how. I wish I could erase the past. I wish I could hold you...just once. I'd sell my soul to see you one more time. To look into your eyes and say the things I have dreamed /every day/ of saying.  
  
But dreams are futile...when you can't have them. They just prolong the pain.  
  
But I'll wait for you. And hope that one day you'll return to me and I'll do everything I can to make it up to you. This I promise you.  
  
My love, my hope, my salvation. My soulmate. I am nothing without you. 


	2. Beginnings

**An Instant in Time Chap 2**

_Flick_

They say time heals all wounds...

They lied.

Whoever said that does not know the extent of mine. Does time heal wounds that have ravaged the soul? Can it mend together a piece of you that has been ripped apart by your very own hand?

I think not.

_Flick_

Time. Yes, I will tell you _precisely_ what time can do.

Time makes you remember. It strips you of your will, holds you shivering in its merciless embrace as it chokes down memories of _her_, images that have haunted your cold existence. No, it won't free you, even if you're forced to confront the blackness that has hidden, waiting for your moment of weakness.

It plays a cruel game. Teasing you with hope and making you believe that if you wait long enough you might possibly be redeemed. That maybe, she will come, and grant you your deepest, most feverant wish...forgiveness.

But time is just playing. And you haven't even begun to understand the game. Because when you think you can't live with the pain, time will show you just how much more you can endure.

_Flick_

Two hundred years I have waited in this world.

And I am tired.

I have seen a great many battles won and lost, blood spilled needlessly, pain and starvation. And I wonder if there is any point to living in such chaos and mayhem where so few find any pleasure at all. For you see, doubt has set in and has planted its veined roots deep within my mind.

_Flick_

The brandy in my hand glows amber in the light of the fading sun. I am sitting in my library, surrounded by the riches I have gained throughout my many years. The money which I have acquired in abundance has gained me the title of Count.

Count Lucian Rothgar.

A formidable title and one that has gained its usefulness. I find that in this world, people believe you are nothing if you don't have wealth or power. But they too are wrong. It is money and power that become nothing when you are gone from this world, when your bones turn to dust and your name lost in history. For nothing in this impermanent world is permanent.

Nothing except love.

_Flick_

Love, I am told, transcends time and space. It has no boundaries, limits or restrictions. It clutches onto the soul wooing you so sweetly. Love did catch me in her arms. Not a love that grew from the slow budding of friendship. But a love that was fierce and passionate as the storms. A love that had took only one second to acknowledge it was there.

_Flick_-

I stop twirling the dagger in my hand. It is a beautiful piece of art. Made of ancient Gosmere wood and it cuts like the finest steel. But tonight I have another purpose for it. I take another long, deliberate sip of brandy.

My love, I have waited too long in this world without you. If you won't return to me, I will return to you.

I put the brandy down, and angle the blade towards me. And I smile. A weight of sorrow lifts from me as I realize I will not have to carry this burden any longer. This pain.

But love had other plans for me.

Like a fragrance that drifts upon the wind, a tingling, a _knowing_ races up my spine. A knowing that I had begun to believe would never come. My hands begin to tremble. The knife falls, the glass of brandy shatters. For now it has become more than a knowing...it has become a certainty.

She has been born.

And my world has changed.


End file.
